You can think, and you can speak. You can know your feelings and show them. Sometimes you can do this. I can’t, not today. I feel weird, really when don’t I? Most people I know are in a weird mood today- or maybe it is just toward me. I did my lesson today, I think it went well. I loved teaching. I really like my friends (also) lately I’ve been much closer to them, and made many new friends.
I guess my mood stems from the date. Tomorrow is April 1st (April Fools Day for all you jokesters out there). I’m not going to jinx it, but as long as I can remember I’ve never had a good April 1st, something bad has always happened. It’s a day of horrible change- that now I see looking back on it was for the better. At the time though, not at all. I’m really nervous, I can’t even begin to describe it. This is my D Day, this is the truth. I kind of can’t stop obsessing over it. I’m too nervous to speak. I just know something bad will happen. Everyone will be overjoyed by shenniagans, but most know to just stay out of my way. I’m going to be such a sourpuss tomorrow. I need to change my blog url- I don’t know to what. I’m in such a weird mood
I’m doing a lesson for the English class I TA for, I’m going to post all of the videos I need on here, so that they can’t see the titles, then ask them questions about it. Sorry if I’m spamming your tumblr dashboard- it’s in the name of English- and Shakespeare
Silly naive Kara, there was so much more day for you to experience before you posted. Today was not my day. I’m a creative drought- I may never create again. I’m frusturated with nearly everything. I’m just angry, and my nose is runny. I don’t know. I’m just pissed
Today seems like a good day too burn a bridge or two
GOOD MORNING! (although it is painfully close to being the afternoon). The sun has yet to poke out of the clouds, but I have faith. I keep thinking it is Friday, it isn’t. I don’t have much time to write; the class is almost over. I spent it editing Ryan’s S.’ autobiography. It was so… him. I kind of need to leave. I’ll write later though- obviously. I love life. Also! I want to change my url.
Jesus? Didn’t you forget about him Kara? Didn’t you claim you were brainwashed by religion and crazy people? Yes friends, I did. Today I had to go to church, it’s manditory now since I’m going to Germany with the Manchester Youth Group. It was weird. I guess I have since renouncing God I have kept myself believing it’s all a scam. I don’t know if I wasn’t envious of the people singing their hymns, and I surely was not thinking, “wow what suckers” I was content. I think it was a good amount of time to find myself and think about how I can’t change other’s minds. I think it’s good that when I went today I felt fine- indifferent. I could smile, laugh, and get what I needed to from the sermon; without believing in their God. It was good. It was also hilarious, Norah and I sat upstairs, where pretty much no one was- it was a bit awkward hahaha. Then we texted Scott who was sitting alone and he came to sit with us, I really enjoy that kid. Then Murphy came… late. Good job on his part. After we all went to the front to sell afghans, no one bought any.
Scott was going to lunch with Jack Kelly, Tyler Weihs, and Jake Douglas; he invited us. So we all went to lunch which was really fun. We had good talks, and we all got along well. Next we went to Captain Dustys and Norah got ice cream.
Now I’m home- in my footy pajamas. I need to do homework, a lot of it. Whatever.
Germany meeting at 7:00pm- we’re going to be learning German and then talking. I’m so excited for Germany- Kara, Norah, Murphy and Scott taking on Germany will be hilarious.
“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”—
Before I get into this- I’m watching Sex and the City and Carrie and I are twins.
I wish I were her, but really I am. I just need her job, hair and life oh and bank account. The reason I believe this even more is because of this conversation
Samantha-” What does he look like?” Carrie- “I don’t even remember what he looks like, that’s what happens when I really like someone; I just remember the feeling of being with them.” Carrie preaches to the choir, I can never remember what the person I like looks like, that’s how I know I like the person.
Love was in the air for many people today; I saw cupid making his magic through out the day; and although it wasn’t me, I was still impressed by the love I saw. I don’t know if Cupid will strike me anytime soon- but striking others around me makes me feel very good.
I don’t know where this dismal day will take me, but I’m willing to bet I’ll smile.
I don’t have high hopes for today, I’m still in a weird mood. I’m going to try to make it amazing, I really am. I don’t know if it will work. The sun is just reflecting the clouds, the sky looks white. As if we’re on a page, and more will e colored in soon. I feel like a painting- like I’m on a canvas. Today, I look stupid. I can’t breathe out of my nose so my mouth is working VERY hard. Therefor when I’m conentrated, my mouth is open and I look stupid. I don’t even want to leave my house knowing I look this way.
My horoscope is:
If you did your work when you were supposed to, now you get to play. Others may look at you with jealousy, for they still have unfinished chores that will infringe upon their fun. Still, you are not perfect and today could highlight something you should have already completed. Don’t take on more than you can accomplish; it’s better to enjoy yourself while you can.
You should be primarily focused on your personal life at the moment, and you could end up having some interesting romantic encounters before the day is through. Your charm and charisma could be running pretty high today. You ought to be capable of motivating others at this time and people should be willing to follow your lead right now.
Because people like Oliver Hatch are alive. I really enjoy that child; he constantly makes me happy. I also should say that I enjoy Isolde and Heather (I said I’d mention them :) ) Also, today was great- I love my friends, Scrabble and Salem. I love many things; and I want to smile. I don’t think I can though- Oliver says I’m tired. I don’t think so, I think I’m just out of it. My eyes wont stay open but I can’t sleep. I’m thinking to much. I need love.
I can’t wait for Holly and Emily to start this book, they’ll both love it.
I think a lot about the tattoos I’m going to get once I’m of age. I think this would look nice somewhere. I will be getting the quote, “For whatever we lose(like a you or a me) it’s always ourselves we find in the sea” with either a wave, pirateship or message in a bottle. I also enjoy the quote, “the earth laughs in flowers”. If I could I’d get everything written by that man on my body. The other tattoo I’m sure I want is an infinite sign created by the alphabet and a “…” this is because I’m amazed by letter and their infinite possibilities, and the “…” symbolizes that no matter what, there is always more to life- it goes on.
I have only written one thing in the last 2 months.
This is it- I just wrote it… and I feel unintelligent
That’s what she said
I need to get these (creative) juices flowing It is so hard I need to fill this hole (in my heart) This isn’t as long as I hoped I really did think it would be longer I want to touch it, feel it Ohh now, I can feel it inside That is what she said.
I wrote things from the heart, compositions that broke my heart, words that described exactly how I felt to a tee. Once, I wrote writings that were published, things that inspired. I let my pen run free my thoughts bringing it in every which way, my thoughts spilling about the white plane filling it with words that screamed to the reader.
I’m listening to an excerpt on This American Life. It’s making me sad, I’m going to cry; it is so good.
"When seventh period is finally over, I run to my locker and put all my books inside. I won’t need them anymore. I grab my lock-picking set and a spare Ace of Spades that I have lying around.
At the end of the hallway, I can see Stephen talking to Megan, the girl we both have a crush on. I walk up to them and say hi. She smiles at me and I try to smile back. He looks a little suspicious.
I don’t really want to say anything, I don’t want to tell them what I’m going to do. I hand him the Ace of Spades and say, “Good-bye,” and I walk away. I hope they’ll be happy together.
I see my friend Jake at his locker and give him the lock-picking set. “Use them wisely,” I say, and head toward the bus.
Laura walks with me down D hall. She says, “Hey, I heard you set that fire in gym class.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to set myself on fire.” She stops at her locker, and I keep walking.
On the bus ride home, I sit by myself. I lean my head against the cold glass window and try not to think about all the stupid things I’ve done, all the bad things I’ve done, and all the pain I’ve caused everyone.
My brother is playing basketball outside the house when I get home. He’s shooting free throws.
I rebound the ball for him and throw it back. I don’t want to take any shots. I tell him the whole story, about what I did and what they’re going to do to me. I don’t tell him what I’m going to do to myself.
When I’m done talking, he says, “That sucks,” and I go inside the house. I don’t have to write a note anymore. Craig knows everything.”
is gorgeous, stressful, beautiful, fuffilling, the day I get my act together, loveable, showing me things, my sign, over-grover, allowing me to open all my windows and in turn turn off the heat, special, not an FML moment, not as bad as it could be, did i mention gorgeous?
I love my friends, I love the weather, I love life. I need to start exercising for this summer. I also need:
* contacts/ glasses *a new phone charger * bathing suits *money *motivation *to eat healthier … I think that’s it. I actually need to do more…
I need to write, and find my notebook.
OH AND liquid eyeliner and Holly, Emily and friends time.
I'm on a rant. Because I enjoy my friends so much.
snapsforkara: so, I’m in this intense mindset snapsforkara: that I just love you all so much snapsforkara: like all of my friends snapsforkara: and it’s weird snapsforkara: I just want to talk about how great you guys are- and brag norah91x: haha i love you kara norah91x: we all are pretty cool snapsforkara: I KNOW! snapsforkara: why doesn’t everyone know this norah91x: they do..DUH
snapsforkara: so, I’m in this intense mindset snapsforkara: that I just love you all so much snapsforkara: like all of my friends snapsforkara: and it’s weird snapsforkara: I just want to talk about how great you guys are- and brag xo justine13: tell the whole world! xo justine13: shouut it out loud! snapsforkara: hahahaha xo justine13: one day this will make u proud! xo justine13: wooohooo
I really do want to brag about how great my friends are. They constantly put me in the best of moods, and genuinly care for me. It is so nice to feel wanted and loved. I hope they feel the same way, that I will be there for them no matter what. I can’t even begin to think o life without them. I just tried to find a picture of the 7 of us, and there is not ONE on facebook. This is crazy.
the essex girls (I’m both)
probably the funniest picture of all of us (minus Liza) I DEMAND THAT THE SEVEN OF US TAKE A NICE PICTURE THIS WEEK/END. or I’ll be mad. I love people.
I hope tomorrow is magnificent, I know that you’ll turn around this negative energy and do something great with it. I really missed you today also, I looked for you at school- alas I saw nothing. Tomorrow we should bring balloons and tie them around our wrist, this is so in the crowd we can find each other. I have no balloons, may be we’ll make it figurative. I’ll write you a note! Ummmmm, you’re beautiful.
Love your friend (at first I wrote fried, and laughed), Kara